Stubborn or Scared?
The other morning I was scrambling trying to get my kids ready so we could make it on time to Eli’s well-child visit and to get his hearing checked. (We’ve been unsure if he is suffering from hearing loss or just selective hearing lately).
Eli was dragging his feet…quite literally. He was refusing to get dressed, to eat his breakfast, and to cooperate. I could feel my irritation level going from simmer to boiling. I could see no good reason why my offspring was so obstinately refusing to help me get him dressed and in the car!
Taking My Own Advice
As I often tell parents, take a minute and find out what is really going on. So, I took a couple of deep breaths and got down to Eli’s level (which was a limp blob on the floor at this point) and looked in his eyes and asked him why he didn’t want to go.
First he said he was tired. I asked him what was going on again. He finally told me that he was scared. I was so relieved I took my own advice and took a minute (it was probably less than that) to just ask him what was going on instead of blowing a gasket by taking his refusal to cooperate as a personal insult and attack on my own sanity.
I gave him a big hug and told him I would be right with him and we were just going to take a peek in his ears. He perked right up and happily got in the car with me.
The Moral Of The Story
Even though I teach Parenting By The Minute strategies daily to parents, I still find myself in awe at how well it works to just take a minute and talk to your child, to find out what they are feeling, and help them process whatever is going on. It almost seems too easy. Then I ask myself, “Is there really any such thing as too easy in parenting?” I don’t know about you, but I will take the easy and effective route over the long, painful one any day of the week
