“Why compare yourself with others?
No one in the entire world can do a better job
of being you than you.”
The Second Step in Building Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Honoring the Individual
In my mission to parent positive … one of the things I noticed very quickly after my second son, Xander, was born was how different he was from his older brother, Eli.
To all you other parents out there, this probably doesn’t sound like rocket science to you, but each day I am in awe at their differences in behavior, mannerisms, and interests. It’s pretty remarkable!
Step 2 in Building Self-Esteem: Treat Each Child as an Individual
It only makes sense that different kids are going to have different requirements. In parenting, there is one fail-safe rule to go by … ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL! One of the most damaging things many parents say to their children is “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”
This administers a heavy blow to their self-esteem. Statements like these make the child feel like there is something wrong with being THEM and that it’s bad to be who they are. It teaches that they should compare themselves to others to gauge how they are measuring up so they can make Mom or Dad happy. Consequently, they begin to hide their true nature and attempt to become someone they are not.
How Do You Measure Up?
We are raised in a society where we compare our weaknesses to others’ strengths. On such a skewed scale, there is no other possibility than to come up short (and I’m not talking about your height).
We learn to focus on our weaknesses and “not-enough-ness” and ignore our strengths and uniqueness and deprive the world of what we alone can offer.
60 Second Tip: How to Encourage Individuality
You can help to build you child’s self-esteem through encouraging individuality in just 60 Seconds a day… Here’s how:
Just take a minute out of your day to…
- Talk with your child excitedly about something they are interested in (dolls, trucks, a favorite subject at school, a favorite book or movie, or a hobby, etc).
- Praise you child when they are doing something they love to do – let them know you are proud of them and you admire their talents. If your child painted a picture, dug a hole in the backyard, sang a song, etc. just a few simple words will leave a lasting impression on your child.
- Give you child the opportunity to explore new things – the best way for a child to discover their uniqueness is to let them try new things! Get out of the house. Try new foods. Let them try different sports, dance lessons, piano lessons, swim lessons, etc. Like the old saying, “variety is the spice of life” let’s spice it up!
That’s it! It’s really that easy. I know you can come up with many other creative ways to encourage you child’s individuality. I’d love for you to comment and share your ideas.
Go ahead, take 60 seconds and help you child recognize and embrace their uniqueness … let them know that “No one in the entire world can do a better job being you than you!”
