“You must love yourself before you love another.
By accepting yourself and fully being what you are,
your simple presence can make others happy.”
The First Step In Building Self-Esteem in Your Kids: Laying the Foundation
Do you know how the Great Wall of China was built? One brick at a time. Yep, this enormous wall, one of the only man-made structures visible from space, was laid one brick at a time.
Your child’s self-esteem is built in much the same manner: one piece at a time. Let’s take a look at this first piece.
Ever Feel Like You’re Being Watched?
One of the most powerful things I’ve learned raising children is that they are learning from you, all the time. They take no breaks. They take no vacations. They are always watching, always learning, whether you want them to or not. It is the way God designed children, and there is an excellent reason for that design.
Your children are watching you instintively, learning on so many levels, because they are preparing themselves to live on their own in the great big world. Like animals in the wild learn from their parents how to get food, find shelter, what dangers to avoid, etc your children are undergoing the same learning process.
- They are learning about human relationships.
- They are learning about how to care for their bodies.
- They are learning what is safe and unsafe.
- They are learning how to treat others.
- They are learning how to treat themselves…
All of this, just by watching you. You are laying the foundation for your child’s life in your everyday activities. We are going to focus on the last in this list in this post – they are learning how to treat themselves. How are they learning this? By watching the way you treat yourself.
Principle #1 in Building Self-Esteem:
Do Unto Yourself As You Would Have Your Children Do Unto Themselves
Action speak louder than words, right? One of the best lessons you can teach you children is to model self-respect.
Notice how you treat yourself.
- Do you berate yourself when you knock over a glass of milk? “I’m so clumsy”
- Have words like, “Man, how could I have been so stupid!” when you forgot to bring back the overdue library books when you set out on your errands?
- How about this one, “I am so fat!” when you are trying on clothes at the store.
It might not always be this blunt. And it doesn’t even have to be out loud. Your kids pick up on your emotions caused by your thoughts. Sound crazy?
Have you ever walked up to a friend and just known when they were sad or upset? Your kids can do that too, they are even better at it than adults are.
Kids can feel when you are upset. They can sense that you are being less than kind to yourself and they are storing that in their minds that, “Oh, this is how I’m supposed to act as well.”
60 Second Tip: Model Self-Respect
First, I want to make sure you are aware of this fact – You are a divine being. You are made in the Image of God and you are here for a purpose. You have unique gifts and talents and the world is a better place because you are in it.
Now that we have that out in the open, live it! Do you think God ever berates Himself? I think that is highly unlikely.
One of the best ways to show God gratitude and respect is to love and respect yourself. You are, after all, one of His highest creations.
How do you do this?
- Be kind to yourself
- Forgive yourself for past mistakes
- Be patient with yourself as you make more mistakes These are just learning opportunities if you choose to see them that way.
- Respect your body Make healthy food choices. Get out and exercise and enjoy this incredible world we live in. You don’t have to start running marathons, just get out and go for a walk. Go to a park. Get out into nature.
- Learn to really love yourself I’m not talking about arrogance or conceit. I’m talking about developing a good, healthy sense of love for yourself. You are an incredible being with unlimited potential! That alone deserves a healthy dose of love and respect!
This may sound like an overly simple concept. But don’t let that deceive you. Loving yourself is the most important thing you can do for you children.
Remember, kids can spot a phony from a mile away. If you tell them to love themselves while you despise yourself, they will see right through you and the lesson will be lost.
So take 60 Seconds today and show yourself love. Say it out loud! Write a love note and post it on your mirror. Read it out loud everytime you walk past it.
I’d like to end with the quote from the top of this post…
“You must love yourself before you love another.
By accepting yourself and fully being what you are,
your simple presence can make others happy.”
Follow this quote and loving yourself, you will make you children happy just by being around them. You will be teaching them one of the most important principles of developing a rock-solid self-esteem!
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