This is one topic that gets a LOT of controversy. The willful child. The medical field even has a disorder name for it … Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
But what if I told you it was GOOD not bad to raise willful children? Would that qualify me for admission to a mental institution?
Well, I’m going to say it! It is GOOD to raise willful children. John Gray stated in his book, “Children Are From Heaven:”
Nurturing and not breaking a child’s will
is the basis of creating confidence, cooperation,
and compassion in children.
We live in a world much changed from our own youth. There is a lot more pressure on our kids and if we aren’t able to teach them to cultivate a strong will and then show them how to use it, they will have some gaping holes in their armour.
Rather than raising “obedient” children, I would challenge you to think about raising cooperative children.
One Minute Solutions:
Here are some two tips on raising cooperative children in just one minute a day:
Give your kids options and choices to help them learn to make decisions.
Rather than dictating everything your child does from sunup to sundown, offer choices.
Ask, “Would you like Cheerios or oatmeal for breakfast?”
Let your child choose their clothes for the next day.
Ask, “Do you want a sandwich for lunch or soup?”
Ask your kids for their opinion and input (and actually listen to them).
After watching a movie or TV show together ask them what they liked about it and what they didn’t like about it.
When driving past a car lot, ask your kids what their favorite color kind of car is.
Ask your child what they want for Christmas that year.
The cool part about listening, is that is all you have to do! You don’t have to worry about how much something costs, you don’t have to tell them why you can’t get that, you don’t have to tell them that is totally unreasonable, etc. All you have to do is listen and ask questions. “Why do you like that color?” “What kind of games would you play with that toy?” “How fast do you think that car goes?”
“Willful” has gotten a bad wrap. We want our kids to be willful and full of will and know what they want and stand up for their beliefs and values.
